Living the Line: Personal Principles in a World That Shifts

Living the Line: Personal Principles in a World That Shifts

I’ve always been drawn to people who seem to have a clear compass. You know the type, right? They speak with conviction. They make hard decisions without a lot of drama. They seem to always know where they stand. And for a long time, I wondered: How do they get there?

I’ve come to believe it’s not about certainty - but about doing the slow, year-long work of figuring out what kind of person you want to be. And then checking in often to make sure your actions match that vision.

Since reading the book from Ray Dalio by the same name, I think a lot about my principles. In practice, they’re often quiet, unglamorous things. They don’t arrive with clarity. They don’t make decisions for you. And yet, they matter deeply, especially when things get messy.

Principles are fundamental truths that serve as the bedrock of our behavior. Deeply held convictions that guide our actions and decisions. They are heuristics that can be applied again and again, becoming a compass and offering a tool set for dealing with different situations. As Dalio put it: "principles are like algorithms for dealing with reality".

We are confronted with an avalanche of new situations on a daily basis, and without principles we would need to react to them as if we were experiencing them for the first time. Drawing from principles enables us to navigate novel situations with confidence. Much like how engineering systems gracefully degrade to predetermined fallbacks when encountering unexpected scenarios, our principles serve as our mind's custom operating protocol. Living by principle may mean making a decision you know won’t be popular. Maybe not even understood - until much later, if at all.

What is the Line?

It’s easy to say you “draw the line” somewhere. But real life rarely offers clean scenarios. Most of us don’t fail because we lack principles. We falter because we never define when they apply.

I’ve learned to pay attention to two moments:

  1. When I feel myself rationalizing too quickly.
  2. When silence feels easier than speaking up.

When I lead my first product, I found myself asking the question: Where’s the line? When do I speak? What’s my job when pressure from above and principle pull in opposite directions? These are not just leadership questions - they’re very human questions. No manual gives you the right answer in real time. You only have your compass. The one you’ve built, calibrated, and rechecked over years.

That’s why the metaphor of drawing lines resonates with me. Lines drawn too early become stubbornness. Lines drawn too late become complicity. But drawing no line at all - avoiding the tension altogether - is a decision too. In my experience, the right moment to hold firm is often when the ground feels the most unstable. And that isn't about being stubborn, but about being consistent. Teams and organizations rely on people who are steady. Not perfect, not always right - but reliably principled. That’s how cultures are built. That’s how trust accumulates.

Drawing the line isn’t the hard part. Living it is. Especially in business settings: Fast deadlines, organizational politics, executive pressure, shifting goals. It’s tempting to delay, to “wait for more clarity,” or to tell yourself you’re being flexible. And sometimes you are.

These are my principles.

Realism: Accept Reality, Deal With It and Stay Curious

It is one of the biggest traps in life to get hung up on how you wish reality was, instead of dealing with the reality at hand. I see this phenomenon regularly in business, where people attempt to cherry pick data and shoehorn the facts in a way that fits their agenda or narrative (confirmation bias) and supporting initiatives they want to be true (desirability bias). Or to deny or defer acknowledging the existence of a problem because it is inconvenient.

Do not deny reality because it is inconvenient for you. It is a natural instinct to avoid potentially uncomfortable situations, instead change your mindset from one where you encounter a challenge with anxiety to viewing it with curiosity and as an opportunity to grow.

This does not mean you shouldn’t dream big dreams, but you are doing yourself a disservice if they are not rooted in reality. Being an idealist striving for an unreachable goal causes setbacks, not progress.

Don’t confuse what you wish were true with what is actually true.

Accountability and Extreme Ownership: 100% Own Your Outcomes

We as humans are wired to avoid painful paths. But it is exactly these experiences that mold us profoundly. There is no growth in the comfort zone.

An undeniable reason for the avoidance of these hardships is to circumvent failure. And when you fail, the temptation to look for the root cause externally is very enticing. Suffice to say this is very misguided. By not reflecting on how you may have contributed to the outcome you are not just foregoing an opportunity to better yourself, but also surrendering control and your sense of agency.

Be accountable and take responsibility for the things that happen to you - both good and bad. Take control of your life. Be the master of your own path and someone who is not at the mercy of the world surrounding you. Psychologists describe the feeling of empowerment and influence on outcomes as the internal locus of control.

I was the kid who in school always searched for explanations of my failures externally. Poor exam results were - of course - the result of a poor teacher. Or bad luck on the questions that ended up being asked. In other words: I had a very poor locus of control. Developing this mindset has been transformative in my journey as both a parent and business professional. It is a good feeling to know that finding personal happiness and success rests on my own shoulders.

There are always lessons to be learnt from reflecting on your decisions and on how they contributed to an outcome. It is a healthy exercise, even if the outcome is far out of your control or the result of a freak accident. You will find opportunities to hone decision-making if you seek them. Being accountable does not equal beating yourself up when you are wrong or you messed up.

I learn much more from my defeats than my from victories. What I want at the end of my life is just one more victory than defeat.

It is especially true in leadership: Effective leaders don't place blame on others and point fingers. When mistakes happen, they are acknowledged, ownership is taken and corrections made to upgrade performance

The more comfortable you are with your shortcomings and failures, the more comfortable you will become with yourself. I’m speaking from experience.

Humility: Be Humble and Radical Transparency

Learning to deal with criticism and being completely transparent with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses has been a game changer for me. Getting into arguments or being criticized once triggered a rush of blood and defensive emotions. Putting these emotions on a leash is the necessary prerequisite to extract the best possible conclusions from the advice given by others. I have moved away from the obsession to be correct, and towards an obsession of truthseeking.

Feedback and counsel is the best tool available to better yourself, and it should be actively sought instead of brushed aside. If you are criticized, assume first that it's correct. Allow yourself to digest the information, and affirm or deny if there is truth to the feedback. Improving through feedback is the primary motivator for me stepping out of my comfort zone and putting my ideas out there through this site. I create things to criticize. If I wanted to avoid criticism, I would not create anything. That isn't an option for me.

Being radically transparent with yourself but also to others about your ideas, strengths and weaknesses is a brave step because it opens and invites criticism. Putting yourself out there doesn’t feel great, but you will pick up knowledge which would otherwise have been unattainable. And you will always have feedback and the confirmation that your idea has actual merit and you are not falling victim to blind spots or false beliefs.

Especially leaders need to hear hard truths. Great leaders know what they do not know, and create a counsel of advisors to help guide them until they know better.. And the best leaders continue listening to them long after.

Acknowledging weaknesses is completely different from surrendering to them, and it is a senseless perception to think that you should know all the answers to everything at all times. This humbleness is an attribute I find frequently missing in the world. Knowing you are lacking a skill and possess the humility to ask for assistance is just as important as having the skill yourself.

We like to think principles show up when something dramatic happens. But most of the time, they show up in much smaller places: what feedback you give, how you handle uncertainty, what trade-offs you endorse in a decision, what behavior you tolerate in meetings. Teams take their cues from leaders. If I hide mistakes, so will they. If I speak truth, they will too. Those little moments are where your team starts to learn what you really stand for.